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Today you get your MFA in poetry Today, you get your MFA in poetry. Today all your hard work and...

Fri, 27 Jul 2012 14:31:01 -0500

Today you get your MFA in poetry

Today, you get your MFA in poetry. Today all your hard work and determination and binge-drinking and late nights crying over the thesaurus have finally paid off. Today the world is your seafood dish of choice.

Today your parents will call you long-distance to tell you congratulations, and that you’ve always been their favorite child. “An MFA in poetry — we couldn’t be prouder,” they’ll say. “It’s too bad your brother didn’t follow your example, instead of frittering away his time in medical school.”

Today, the girl who picked on you in junior high will send you a message on Facebook. “hey just saw u got ur mfa in poetry. wanted to say sorry i was so mean, u don’t have greasy hair i just said that because i was jealous. ur the person i always wanted to b. ps i am wastin my life in a dead end job and havent had sex in like a year.”

Today, if you tell the Starbucks barista that you got your MFA in poetry, she’ll give you half price on the tall beverage of your choice.

Today your ex-girlfriend will call you. Yes, the ex-girlfriend who moved to Alaska to get back together with her ex-boyfriend (well, her ex-ex, now-current boyfriend) because “the whole gay thing was just a phase.”

“I heard you got your MFA,” she’ll say, in her sultriest tone. “In poetry.”

“I did,” you’ll agree.

“That’s so hot,” she’ll murmur. “I’ve always wanted to sleep with someone who had her MFA in poetry. All my boyfriend has is a stupid MBA in non-profit management.”

“Bummer,” you’ll say.

“So I was thinking we should get back together,” she’ll say. “I’ve learned some super crazy new tricks to do with my tongue.”

“No thanks,” you’ll reply casually. “I’m deeply in love with someone who’s much hotter and funnier than you, and also has way bigger boobs.” You’ll hear her deep sigh of remorse and self-recrimination as you hang up the phone, and feel a faint pang at having broken her heart. But what can you do? Your life is about to become one long string of beautiful women throwing themselves at you, and you’ll have to learn to turn them down without feeling guilty. That’s just the way it goes when you have an MFA in poetry.

Today you will be offered the job of your dreams. Don’t say yes right away, because while you’re on the phone with them, you’ll get a call from another organization offering you the same job but for like three times as much. Tell them you’ll do it if they’ll throw in a helicopter. It will be in your backyard by five o’clock this afternoon. You can make those sorts of demands now — after all, you have an MFA in poetry.

Today, your agent (did you forget that you had an agent? Look again — her business card is on your refrigerator among the menus from your three favorite Thai delivery places) has been on the phone since six a.m. mediating the bidding war over your manuscript. “They’re going fucking wild,” she’ll text you, which will confuse you for a minute if you’ve forgotten that you have an agent and don’t recognize her number. “They’re willing to pay anything. Poetry is such a seller’s market right now.”

“I know,” you’ll text her back. “That’s why I got my MFA. It was an investment in my future.”

Today you can eat as much ice cream as you want and you’ll never feel nauseous or have a sugar crash. You have your MFA in poetry; you’re not going to let something as trivial as your metabolism slow you down!

Today all your financial problems are over. Today you are loved and appreciated by everyone you encounter. Today the ice in your drink will not melt too fast. Today you can wear button-down shirts and they won’t gap over your boobs. Today your teeth are looking really white. Today there is no weird smell in your car. Today everyone laughs at your jokes. Today your friends and family are throwing you a surprise party, and there will be cake, and anyone who uses the word “less” when they mean “fewer” will be asked to leave immediately.

For a moment, you may stop and wonder whether this is even fair — whether you deserve to be so happy and carefree. But then you’ll remember: of course you do. Because you have an MFA in poetry.

-Lindsay Miller (via thehairpin.com)

catchy stuff by the dudes from spoon wolf parade

Wed, 25 Jul 2012 19:51:41 -0500

catchy stuff by the dudes from spoon wolf parade

Well shit. I thought these dudes were done. Good pop stuff.

Tue, 24 Jul 2012 16:23:51 -0500

Well shit. I thought these dudes were done. Good pop stuff.

lee and ann

Sat, 21 Jul 2012 18:27:00 -0500

lee and ann

GET BENT!: Track Premiere: The Unwed Teenage Mothers - Why Does It Have To Be Tonight

Tue, 10 Jul 2012 18:18:33 -0500

GET BENT!: Track Premiere: The Unwed Teenage Mothers - Why Does It Have To Be Tonight:

letsgetbent:

By Joseph Rodriguez

Mississippi boys sure know how to get down don’t they? Whether it be the crushing rock of Bass Drum Of Death, Flight and Dead Gaze or the sultry grooves of Dent May and ILLS, Mississippi knows how to get your head bangin’ and your ass movin’. Don’t count The Unwed…

supersonicelectronic: Matt Taylor. put above bed.

Wed, 27 Jun 2012 11:34:28 -0500

supersonicelectronic:

Matt Taylor.

put above bed.

acapareda: Egon Schiele- Woman Undressing (1914)

Wed, 20 Jun 2012 03:53:45 -0500

acapareda:

Egon Schiele- Woman Undressing (1914)

KILLER MIKE HOLDING IT DOWN. R.A.P. MUSIC. THAT IS ALL.

Fri, 15 Jun 2012 13:43:18 -0500

KILLER MIKE HOLDING IT DOWN. R.A.P. MUSIC. THAT IS ALL.

Going to see the weeknd at minglewood tonight. Too sexy....

Thu, 14 Jun 2012 10:46:00 -0500

Going to see the weeknd at minglewood tonight. Too sexy. #napalmlove #xo

OH MAN

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 15:06:07 -0500

DRUNK KYLE MADE AN ASS OUT OF HIMSELF LAST NIGHT. SORRY WORLD. #YOLO #FUBU

supersonicelectronic: Boneface.

Wed, 13 Jun 2012 15:03:25 -0500

supersonicelectronic:

Boneface.

Photo

Sat, 09 Jun 2012 21:05:47 -0500

GODDAMMIT BIGGEST BROCRUSH ON DAVID KILGOUR

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 14:27:35 -0500

GODDAMMIT BIGGEST BROCRUSH ON DAVID KILGOUR

I’d go to the room where they keep the CezanneBut if I had...

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 14:24:50 -0500

I’d go to the room where they keep the Cezanne
But if I had by my side a girlfriend
Then I could look through the paintings
I could look right through them
Because I’d find something that I understand
I understand a girlfriend
That’s a girl
Said G I R L F R E N
That’s a girlfriend, baby
That’s something that I understand
Alright

I CAN SEE FOR MILES DAVIS

Fri, 08 Jun 2012 12:22:12 -0500

I CAN SEE FOR MILES DAVIS

criterioncorner: A Series of Suntory Whiskey Ads Starring Akira...

Wed, 06 Jun 2012 15:11:05 -0500

criterioncorner:

A Series of Suntory Whiskey Ads Starring Akira Kurosawa and Francis Ford Coppola

“there’s no stronger friendship than that between these two men.”

SO MUCH AWESOME

The copy I owned in elementary school. Ray Bradbury made me...

Wed, 06 Jun 2012 15:03:00 -0500

The copy I owned in elementary school. Ray Bradbury made me love words. I will always be indebted to him. See you later, Ray.

“Important thing is not the me that’s lying here, but the me that’s sitting on the edge of the bed looking back at me, and the me that’s downstairs cooking supper, or out in the garage under the car, or in the library reading. All the new parts, they count. I’m not really dying today. No person ever died that had a family. “

theunwedteenagemothers: Just got the test press in, sounds...

Tue, 05 Jun 2012 13:39:37 -0500

theunwedteenagemothers:

Just got the test press in, sounds great. “If You Think You’re Lonely Now” 7” out soon on Speakertree Records. 4 songs..

If You Think You’re Lonely Now
FFI
Why Does It Have To Be Tonight
Rain

Legerdemain

Mon, 04 Jun 2012 14:21:00 -0500

Memory. you folding a kerchief,

subtle, memorized, as if all of your

person had spread the cloth.

You fold like I do. and when we fold

we fold and unfold together, two

neurotic herons very far from here.

In this, there is intimacy.

But do not be mistaken.

There is no magic in this world.

Ours are no great leylines,

but the artist’s sleight

and flourish, and it did feel very novel.

There are repeat performances.

The roses wilt.

The knives dull.

The doves thin in their cages.

The locks rust into reddened brooches.

The women find their other halves.

And it is in this that we differ.

I know when to take my exit,

when to hang the pliant cane.

How to retire with dignity.

no fraternity brother will

rupture my appendix.

No the show must go on

because I’m tired of fighting

and everything that is not dead is dying.

Let’s you and I leave something

that is near permanent, like

memories or a polaroid photo.

When we go we will vanish.

Our love can be our living will.

Our last fuck, an obsequy.

you beautiful bastard

Sun, 03 Jun 2012 10:44:36 -0500

you beautiful bastard